We really need to stop body shaming. You might think I’m talking about how others talk negatively about others...but that is not what I mean. We don’t have control over what others do or say but we do have control of our own thoughts and actions. Whether it’s being disgusted with our not so flat tummy, hating the cellulite on our booty, or being embarrassed that we have spots on our faces...we have to stop bullying our self. It breeds negativity, it diminishes all the wonderful qualities we DO have and it’s freaking exhausting...it will literally suck the life out of our every day. It must stop.
Just recently I had a beautiful woman comment on a photo I posted on social media. She stated “I would love to have a belly like yours. I’ve had two surgeries and it hasn’t been the same.” What is ironic about her compliment is several years ago I was insecure about my midsection. After having two C-sections, it wasn’t the same, just as she mentioned hers wasn’t. Even after I got in tip top physical shape following the birth of my children, I still had a small pooch. In fact the only time since giving birth that my midsection was tight and flat was when I was stage ready for my physique shows...and of course I didn’t stay ‘show ready’ year-round. So once I filled out with a healthy amount of fat again, my pooch would return. Like I mentioned, I did have insecurities about it but finally I smartened up. My pooch wasn’t there because I was a sloppy eater chomping on junk food all day long and it wasn’t because I was lazy and didn’t exercise or take good care of my physical self...it was there because of my pregnancies and, its not going anywhere. Once I changed the way I perceived it, I actually started liking my pooch! I now appreciate it and I love it. That pooch exist because my body created life...two miracles lived in there and that is amazing in itself! I look at my pooch as part of my womanhood and that is so sexy! I’ve made the similar mind shift with my Latina booty. I have lots more jiggle in my booty then I did before butt my glutes are healthy and strong! I enjoy having curves. Then there are the array of brown spots on my face that I used to have a complex about. Before I had babies I didn’t have one blemish or spot but guess what...hormonal changes happened, hyper-pigmentation happened and they are on my face to stay. I refuse to buy potions and lotions to try and hide them or get rid of them. I once again had a mind shift. I refer to my brown spots as ‘gifts’ from my babies and they will be with me forever. Lucky me! All of my imperfections help write the story of my life...real and true. Obsessing over my imperfections is demeaning, and disrespectful of my life experience. That is not how I want to view them.
I coach women to be healthy and fit from the inside out...both physically and emotionally. It is zero about creating a perfect body. It is all about becoming the best version of your self. Yes I do believe that it should be a priority to exercise routinely and eat nutritious foods in healthy portions. Butt it should be balanced with your mental health. The goal should be to be strong and healthy while feeling beautiful during the process...from the inside out. We all come in different shapes and sizes and if we take the best care of our self, our body will show it’s gratitude. While there is nothing wrong with setting healthy goals like being more fit, more lean, or participating in physique competitions, there is much more to life than pursuing numbers and sizes. Be sure you don’t fall into the trap of self body shaming. You will miss out on the joy of living which includes enjoying your families and friends, connecting with your true purpose and creating the legacy you want to leave.
If you have fallen into the self-shaming trap, you can choose to dig yourself out. Here are a several suggestions:
Every time you start to say a negative comment about your self, replace it with a quality or feature you love about your self. For example...you may not love your cellulite, but your legs are strong, they carry you around all day and you love the way they look in jeans and stilettos.
Do your part. Feed yourself well and exercise regularly to feel strong, to stay healthy, and to feel confident. Take your power back by implementing a healthy plan. It will help to starve your criticism and instead will feed your confidence.
As for your size and weight...focus more on the size of your heart and reduce the weight of your negative thoughts.
Be attractive. We attract what we put out there. Negative attracts negative. Positive attracts positive. I’m sure you prefer the latter. When you give yourself permission to love your self, as is, others will do the same. Enough said.
Finally, commit to taking better care of your self not because you hate your body...do it because you love your body. ~Liza xox
It was Liza’s personal journey of getting fit after having two children that led her to switch careers and become an internationally recognized Certified Fitness, Nutrition and Lifestyle Coach to women across the country. She understands first-hand the struggles and challenges that women, especially moms, face in the quest of a healthier way of life. Her drive and discipline propelled her over “life’s” obstacles and she has accomplished more than she ever thought possible.